Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
