sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
No subtext here. People are naked.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
