There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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