Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
