I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
