Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
