Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
