On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I have post one night stand depression
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize