is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
