I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
