So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
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