Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
