Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
