hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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