Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
