so explain again why im purple
no
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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