we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
