Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
