we're chasing vodka with high fives
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
