I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I will be naked everywhere
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
