How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
