You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
