i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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