jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize