speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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