I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Say something about gay babies.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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