How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
