I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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