why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
