I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You are the jesus of drinking
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
