How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
