Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
