There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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