I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
