dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize