I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
