hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
