You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
whose parrot is this?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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