I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Randomize
