I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
