We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
