I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
