super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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