New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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