We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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