fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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