So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
