MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
