I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
