There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
