A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize