Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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