I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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