so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
