I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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