I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
