remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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