Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I love you. Go after that dick
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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