no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize