Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
So apparently I’m into choking now
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
