I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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