I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Randomize
